“A man’s fidelity is a function of his options”. Now that might sound cynical but people conversant with celebrity know it to be a blunt truth.

As I write this, Tiger Woods is presumably healing and weighing his own options. You probably have heard something about his recent dustup with wife Elin. It is surely embarrassing, on numerous levels but hardly surprising.

Throughout history, professional athletes, entertainers, political figures and others in the public eye have dealt with the spotlight and attention. If you’re a man, your high profile is catnip to the hoards of women in the world, some wishing to validate their own desirability or bag a well-off husband. When the spotlight dies and the money’s gone, more often than not, so are the camp followers.

These days, attractive women hope to capture a bit of that limelight and propel themselves into a career…and many have succeeded. Pre-nups or not, lots of professional hotties come away with a big payday and a TVQ of their own. You might call them golddiggers or sluts or party girls…or canny businesswomen;) A jock has his athletic prowess, an entertainer his looks or voice…and the women have good genes or good surgeons or both. Women use their assets as purposefully as do their male counterparts.

Today, the business of attracting attention is enjoying a bull market; mostly because the masses vicariously enjoy the ascension of stars…almost as much as they relish the train wrecks that often follow such meteoric events. Now I’ve asserted that civilians have absolutely no idea what kind of choices or options are available to celebrities these days. Absolutely none. Many people have enjoyed a moment in the sun, however brief. Maybe you were once homecoming queen or won a talent contest or scored the winning goal….and for a few seconds or hours or days, you basked in the attention and approval. Now try to imagine that kind of reality 24/7.

Once you discover how little any of that attention has to do with you, it becomes less seductive but still…we all enjoy being liked. Some don’t really care why they’re liked, ‘just keep that attention coming’. Others become guarded, knowing how artificial and fleeting fandom can be, remaining close to those who were trusted friends before fame struck. And after a while, that surreal existence becomes one’s reality. You expect the gifts, compliments, special treatment, smiles, offers, perks…and I’m sure more than a few have struggled with depression when it ends.

Bear in mind that fan is short for fanatic;) In my years of public recognition, I’ve received an assortment of fan mail, gifts, intimate photographs and apparel. Men have pimped their wives or girlfriends out to me (a few successfully;) Women often freelance (their dates in near proximity), offering me numbers, hook-ups, quickies. I’ve had women look right thru me (I’m normally dressed in jeans and sneakers) and once they’ve ‘recognized who I am’ (someone they’d seen on TV or in a film) their energy amps up, they begin preening and posing and vying for my attention and approval. It’s totally calculated and mercenary and often quite entertaining.

At staged gatherings, aspiring models, actresses, wannabee’s are invited to ‘dress up’ the event…and they take full advantage of their opportunities…and so do the men. Why wouldn’t they? Wouldn’t most people? Wouldn’t you?

Before you rise up in indignation, consider my earlier stated premise: A man’s fidelity is a function of his options. I’m a minor player in the world of celebrity, so imagine the choices of a Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods or Jack Nicholson, hmmm? Just as every female icon has been desired and idolized by millions (Monroe, Bo Derek, Beyonce), every high profile man lives in the dream lives of countless women around the world. And when fans have the chance to interact with their Prince Charming, in the flesh, it’s all they can do to remember to breathe. Their hormones go wild – adrenaline and endorphins kick in and their life is suddenly exhilarating.

So any male celebrity who continually, successfully resists that kind of opportunity is uncommon…or gay;) Half of all marriages end in divorce and that statistical base is hardly dominated by celebrities. If ordinary Janes and Joes can’t manage to stay happily married, why would you expect those living in the high stress bubble of celebrity to be any more successful?

When I learned of Tiger’s ‘accident’, my first thought was dismay. “Please let his injuries be recoverable.” When I first heard his voicemail played, I was chilled by the words, “My wife is going thru my cellphone.” In this day and age, with multiple means of communication, it’s pretty tough to philander without leaving a trail. Wives who wish to remain wives learn to look the other way and not force the issue. Hell, people have been cheating long before texting and e-mails and telephones came into use. “I’ll meet you behind the barn after midnight.”

But the most damning reality today is the willingness of ‘the other woman (women) to go public with the affair (assuming they don’t shoot your sad ass first;) TMZ and countless other such businesses exist to display dirty linen…and checkbook journalism is alive and well in America today. The judgmental masses call for the sinners head, a wicked brew of holier-than-thou self-righteousness and schadenfreude. They tsk, tsk, tsk while chugging the daily disclosures of carnality.

So, evidently Tiger has been fishing in someone else’s pond. Frankly, it’d be a bigger surprise if he hadn’t been. He’s a man, he’s famous, he’s rich and he attracts attention wherever he goes. Even in today’s permissive world, his betrayal of ethical and moral standards was apparently unexpected. Tiger seemed upstanding, somehow ‘special’…and many transferred on him their own aspirations and expectations of what such success promised. “If I were rich and talented and married to a beautiful woman, I’d be sooo good.” Come on. What he did was not praiseworthy but it ain’t surprising.

His wife and children are beautiful. I hope their marriage survives this disclosure…but I dunno. Tiger wanted a family. He now has one. Time will tell. But to those who question why any man would seek comfort away from so beautiful a wife, I say this, “Show me the most desirable woman on earth…and I’ll bet I can find someone who’s tired of fucking her.” Now, that’s cynical;)

3 Dec ‘09