MARS/VENUS

Theory: Men and women are wired differently. I doubt I’ll get much argument on that point…but how does this difference manifest itself? I’ve been doing step as a form of exercise for more than 20 years (and have the knees to prove it;) It’s the only aerobic workout that doesn’t bore me and keep me watching the clock. To me, spin class resembles whirling gerbils.

Understand I’m not real crazy about any exercise; I just love the endorphins, the way my body feels when its done and it clears out some of the smoke in my lungs, a result of my 47 year, pack a day addiction to Pall Malls. (this is a rationalization, perhaps, but its my story and I’m sticking to it.)

Not a lot of guys do step class. Perhaps they feel it’s unmanly and would rather tear an ACL on the basketball or tennis court but I know my limits. Yet I can’t ever recall seeing any man go left when everyone else is going right…and not know it. Anyone can screw up and get out of step but generally, men seem to notice that they are out of step. I’ve seen women on numerous occasions in class be 180 degrees dead wrong, moving to their left while everyone else is moving to their right…and keep doing it. In a room walled with mirrors, it’s pretty hard not to notice that your movement is out of sync. But some women just don’t seem to get it…or just don’t care, maybe. Perhaps it the “attention whore syndrome” (look at me!)…but I don’t think so.

I think they believe that what they are doing is identical to everyone else. So it’s not just about confusing left with right. It’s going the opposite way and continuing to go the opposite way and seemingly not noticing the difference. 3/24/09

WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

Let us stipulate that I am often incredulous, I vacillate between over-thinking and confusing trees with forests. That being said, I’m hopeful the world at large will step in and clear something up for me.

In my immediate living area (as I’d imagine in your city) there are often two or three different gas stations within a block of each other, often cater-corner at intersections. And generally there are price discrepancies for similar products. Let’s say, today March 23rd, 2008, 87 octane gas (the cheapest grade) is priced at $1.97 a gallon at one station. The price across the street is $2.03 for 87 octane gas. And the price down the street is perhaps $2.18 for 87 octane gas.

Now I can understand different prices for cash versus using a credit card, perhaps a 10 cents differential. That I can grasp, it makes sense to me, since credit cards charge a fee to the station owner. But I’m talking about the cash price. Here in Los Angeles at least, I can find multiple instances of three stations within a block of each other with different prices. And there are customers in all of them.

So what’s up with that? Why would someone willingly pay as much as 20 cents more a gallon? Is there gas loyalty? Is Shell (or Arco or Gulf or BP) superior to the other brands? I’m so tempted to walk up to the drivers with a mike and recorder and interview them. “So sir, you chose to fill up here at Citco, which charges $2.10 a gallon…and just across the street at Mobil you could have filled up for $1.98 a gallon. What factors persuaded you to stop here?”

“I mean, did you not notice? Are you stupid, do you struggle with math? Does your brother-in-law manage this station? Are you lazy? Are you rich? Do you have a Rewards Card for this brand?”

Please understand, I’m not trying to stir up trouble, I’m just wondering. Such paradoxes attract my attention…and I hope someone will point out to me the fundamental reason some people choose to spend more money than they need to, when they fill their gas tanks. 3/22/09

ON BEING COOL

Remember that scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High? A nerdy kid wants to date the cute girl at the Food Court (Jennifer Jason Leigh.) The ticket-scalping greaser (Robert Romanus) is giving him pointers on how to act cool. “Always act like, wherever you are, that’s the coolest place to be!” Now that’s a pose (but it’s probably better than looking clueless.) That was the 80’s.

Kids today live in a world of cell phones and texting, their heads down and seemingly preoccupied. At least, that’s their act. Girls somehow never need to look up to know they’re being checked out… probably some vestigial mating instinct.

But doesn’t this suggest that today, “the coolest place to be”…
is somewhere else? Anywhere else?

7/10/08

MUTATION

The physical (over)development of world class athletes reflects the demands of their sports. I remember the difference in the left and right forearm of Guillermo Vilas. His left was massive. Speed skaters have thighs the size of my waist, both men and women. But most striking to me is the physiology of the modern swimmer. As they stretch before a race, a body that seems lean and relatively undefined (unlike the defined upper arms of male gymnasts) suddenly expands (like the hood of a striking cobra); their back muscles flare to shocking proportions.

The women wear these form-fitting body suits (they are uniformly small-breasted) but these massive lats peek under and over their suit straps, threatening to explode. The physiology of male and female swimmers suggests some sort of mutation, the flexibility of their arms seemingly impossible. Any mortal would dislocate a shoulder before approaching their range of motion.
8/12/08